My family recently returned from one of our legendary Hagelin
road trips: Two adults, six children (three of them friends), a
dog, a van and 20 hours of highway. Both ways.
We get a lot of camaraderie out of such trips. We rinse off a
lot of sand. We go through a lot of suntan lotion. And we eat a lot
of food you won't find on the surgeon general's recommended list
anytime soon. Sometimes, we nearly kill each other - but, all in
all, these family trips are loads of fun and are filled with the
stuff great memories are made of.
On this most recent trip, we stopped in a chain burger joint -
one of the biggies - and were eating when I noticed a
made-for-television movie playing on a mounted television in the
corner. As I watched, the characters began removing their clothes
and, in very short order, were into some pretty heavy romping.
"Grab your food, kids," I said. "We have to go."
Less than a week later, my good friend, David Spady with Salem
Communications told me about an astoundingly sexual fragrance ad in
Teen People magazine. Not wanting to believe what he said, I headed
to the grocery store to check out the magazine myself. There it
was, in living color on the check-out stand. I picked up the
magazine and it flipped open to the ad in question. It featured a
young, shirtless teen boy snuggled up next to a teen girl clad only
in her underwear.
The two were posed cozy and playful on a bed, with the caption,
"Scent to bed." The name of the fragrance? "Fcuk you." I kid you
not. The letters were not-so-cleverly rearranged, and their meaning
is obvious. On the back of the page are two fragrant strips - one
says, "open here to try fcuk her" and the other, "open here to try
fcuk him." A quick scan of the articles in the magazine proved to
be a parent's worst nightmare. Almost everything is linked to sex.
It broke my heart when I turned to the letters from readers page
and saw that girls as young as 12 and 13 are regular readers of the
magazine.
Everywhere I turn, I have to fight for my kids' characters, if
not their souls. And it's getting worse every day. From the movie
theater to the grocery checkout line to the burger joint, the
people in my generation - the adults who ought to know better -
keep flinging garbage at America's children.
Have we gone stark-raving mad?
The problem isn't with "These kids today ..." - the real problem
is with "These adults today ..."
We adults have messed up big time - and it's our children who
are paying the price. We produce the rotten movies and television
programming, and put up the big bucks for publications. We adults
create the marketing plans, write the lyrics, take the photos. And
all for the sake of the almighty dollar.
And it's our children who are paying the price.
The sexual images that pummel them promise popularity, security,
acceptance - all those things on which teens feed. And it's all a
bag of vicious lies. As my
colleague Robert Rector has pointed out, teen sex leads to deadly
STDs, unwanted pregnancies and lost futures - and also to increased
depression, lowered self worth and increased possibility of
suicide.
Because pre-teens as a group now spend millions of dollars every
year, we're targeting kids with graphic sexual images at younger
and younger ages. Recent research shows an increasing amount of
sex-oriented marketing aimed at children in what psychologists call
the "latency period." This is the period before full puberty when
boys and girls don't generally get along, when they form their own
identities unburdened by the need to impress the opposite sex. They
need to be left alone, not encouraged to "get with it."
Yet, we take their innocent, pliable, trusting young minds and
allow others to destroy them each time we make a purchase, look the
other way or simply shrug our shoulders in despair.
Parents, you need to realize you're in a 24x7 war for the minds
and souls of your children.
They are depending on you to protect them. Read what your
children read. Watch what they watch. Listen to their music. If it
offends you, if it's something you don't think they should hear,
tune it out, turn it off and drop it in the trash. Your kids may
not like it, but they'll know you care about them. And one day,
they'll appreciate it.
Oh, I can hear some of you now: "I can't take on the whole
world!" and "But they're going to see it anyway!" Oh, yeah? Well,
not in my house. Not on my watch. I'm the mamma -
it's my job to protect my children, because they're just
that ... my children!
It helps to realize I'm not alone - and neither are you. Take
heart. There are plenty of folks out there who do care, and who
want to help. Here are a few great resources to make our jobs
easier:
At Focus on the Family, you'll
find a lot of information to help parents, including offerings of
teen magazines for boys and girls you can trust not to run ads like
the one mentioned above.
The Internet can provide hours of entertainment, and the
American Family Filter, a product of the American Family Association, can
ensure that fun is safe. It's the tool we use on our home computers
to protect our kids from venturing into sites that would harm
them.
You don't even have to put up with filth in otherwise worthwhile
movies anymore, thanks to Clean Films and others that
take movies, remove the sex, violence and strong language and then
make them available for families.
These are but a few of the tools you can employ now to protect
your children. If you have favorites, share your recommendations
with me and I'll pass them on in a future column.
Stay connected, stay informed and stick to your guns. Remember,
raising kids is not a dress rehearsal ... you get one chance to do
it right.
Rebecca Hagelin
is a vice president of the Heritage Foundation.